Chapter 7 — Record of abuse (male witnesses)

Witnesses response to abuse

Eighteen (18) witnesses reported that they attempted to commit suicide and actively harmed themselves during their time in the Schools, most frequently in the context of being sexually abused or being consistently physically abused. Attempts at self-harm included throwing themselves from heights, ingesting objects, overdosing on veterinary medication, self-mutilation, attempted drowning and self-inflicted burns. Others described having suicidal thoughts or a wish to die or hurt themselves. I cut myself, overdosed, swallowed pins. I was ashamed and embarrassed. ... I ripped myself apart, cut myself, legs, arms. I mean seriously, I was admitted to hospital.... • I tried to kill myself in the time I was there. I locked myself in the bathroom and I was running against the wall trying to injure my head on the wall. I think there was an awful lot of fellas who did commit suicide. You had nobody, absolutely nobody. You couldn’t turn to anybody, you never felt safe, the kitchen, the dormitories, the farmyard. I used to go into a cupboard and cry. • I went down and got a piece of glass and cut my hand. I didn’t care what happened, I just wanted to get out of the School. I just thought that by cutting my hand I’d be taken up to the hospital and could tell someone there. The nurse saw my hand cut and asked me what happened and I told her ...(about being severely beaten by Br X).... I was terrified they ...(Brothers)... would know I’d told her, she created murder and told Fr ...Y.... But he did nothing. • When I was in bed I used to cry and wish I’d die. I’d think “I don’t want to wake up”. Whenever you were in the dormitory you knew there was something going to happen to you. You’d want to be dead instead of waking up.

In addition to the witnesses who reported harming themselves, a number also reported that they contemplated harming lay and religious staff who were abusive and in five instances described actively doing so.

In summary, this chapter has provided an overview of abuse reported to the Committee by 413 male witnesses in relation to Industrial and Reformatory Schools. The reported abuse was differentiated by type: physical and sexual abuse, neglect and emotional abuse presented accordingly. Where possible, the chapter sections have been illustrated with direct quotes from witnesses, some of whom were recounting their experiences for the first time to a third party. While describing their experiences witnesses also gave accounts of the circumstances in which the abuse occurred and the traumatic impact of their experiences both at the time and as they are recalled. In addition, the information provided about the position and occupations of those who were reported abusers is included with witness accounts of who they told, and what they believe was known about the abuse they experienced at the time.

The following two chapters will provide similarly detailed information about the general conditions and everyday life experiences in the girls Schools together with reported abuse experiences of 378 female witnesses.