Chapter 11 — Current circumstances

Parenting

Seventy five (75) witnesses, 26 male and 49 female, described having variable relationships with their different children, some finding one or other of their children more difficult to relate to and acknowledged being excessively strict as a result. A number of witnesses described being harsh on their older children and being much closer to their younger children. Other witnesses said that the relationships with their children improved as they got older and they were able to talk to them about their own childhood experiences. A large number of both male and female witnesses reported having more affectionate, close and rewarding bonds with their grandchildren than they had with their own children: I would love to have said the word “mum”. ... When my daughter says it and when I hear my grandchildren say it, it’s lovely. ... My joy today is my grandchildren, they’re lovely. • I stopped it ...(hitting children)... because ... I said it is not the right thing to do. When I had my second child I stopped. My first child thinks terrible of me because I hit her. It does affect them too you know. I used have them cleaning all the time, that’s the way I was brought up. I should never have hit them, I feel a lot of guilt in myself for doing this to them. I was a terrible mam, I was. We get on all right now.

A number of adult children who accompanied witnesses to hearings described the shock they experienced when they first became aware of the abuse and deprivations their parents endured as children. Some stated that learning about their parents’ childhood experiences helped them to understand and accept the hardship of their own traumatic childhoods with parents who were excessively punitive and critical or unable to show affection. The daughter of a witness attending as a companion reported: My father never spoke to us, you got hit. He’d hit me mammy, he’d hit me, he’d hit my brothers. He was aggressive, he was violent, none of the rest of his family are like this. He has mellowed, he is not like that now, we can talk for hours. The difference with the grandchildren.... He was very good to us material wise, he was a good father that way.

Forty one (41) witnesses, 25 male and 16 female, made no comment about their relationship with their children.

Occupational status

Since their discharge from the School system 509 witnesses (64%), 279 male and 230 female, spent the majority of their working lives in paid employment. Two hundred and fifty (250) of those witnesses (32%), 151 male and 99 female, reported being in paid employment for more than 30 years. A further 90 female witnesses worked full-time in the home caring for their families for 30 years or longer. The following table shows the witnesses’ employment status at the time of their hearing:

Employment status	Males	%	Females	%	Total witnesses	%
Employed	116	28	148	39	264	33
Retired	106	26	71	19	177	22
Disability	87	21	61	16	148	19
Unemployed	61	15	38	10	99	13
Self -employed	31	8	10	3	41	5
Defence Forces	4	1	0	0	4	1
Volunteer	1	0	3	1	4	1
Working at home	7	2	44	12	51	6
Unavailable	0	(0)	3	1	3	(0)
Total	413	(100)*	378	(100)*	791	100

The above information needs to be considered in the context of the witnesses’ age. At the time of their hearing 152 witnesses (19%), 102 male and 50 female, were aged 65 years and over and a further 504 witnesses (64%), 245 male and 259 female, were aged between 50 and 65 years.

Among the 148 witnesses (19%) who were on disability benefit at the time of their hearing, 27 were aged 60 years or older and 45 were on disability benefit for more than 20 years.

Female witnesses who were discharged before the mid-1970s reported that their working lives were generally influenced by marriage and parenthood, with 42 of the witnesses who married and had children during that time reporting they did not work outside the home until their children were grown up. Seven (7) male witnesses reported that their partners were the main income earners in the family, a number of those witnesses chose to work at home to avoid the pressure they had previously experienced in the work place. They described this arrangement as providing a feeling of control over their day-to-day circumstances that they could not achieve in open employment situations.

Self-employment was reported by witnesses to have been a constructive response to managing authority and a desire for independence. Several male and female witnesses described themselves as ‘workaholics’ some of whom reported building up successful businesses that allowed them to keep busy and take their mind off their traumatic past. Others reported a liking for solitude and self-motivation, which favoured self-employment. I can’t hold a job, I can’t focus, I can’t work with anyone. I walk off a job when people start to show authority, I walk away. I struggle. I have had ...(many jobs, now works alone)... which I find the best I don’t have to answer to anyone. • I loved the freedom of being able to do things...(working for self)... and not being chastised...

Many male and female witnesses described the detrimental effects of a poor education on their work lives. Poor literacy, combined with the stigma of having been in a Reformatory or Industrial School, led to many witnesses ‘keeping their heads down’ to avoid criticism or the shame of being ‘found out’ as having been in an institution. They found it difficult to progress beyond unskilled labouring, factory or cleaning work and had poorly provisioned retirements. They described their working lives as a constant struggle to survive without drawing attention to their perceived shortcomings, both educational and social. You were put down a lot, if anyone says “where are you from?” Well you have nowhere, have you? If you say Dublin, then they say “where?” and you just can’t say, it’s that stigma. I thought people would judge me badly. • When I came out ... the lack of education hit me. I was unskilled, I was terrified, I couldn’t put ...(name of School)... on the form. I couldn’t go back into education because, what is education? It is beatings. • I go haywire when anyone gives me an application form to fill out...I haven’t got the confidence, I know what my writing is like, I know what my spelling is like... • I was in ...named company...for 25 years and they said you’ll have to learn it...(computer)...I was terrified I would show myself up. I can’t go over the boss and say “can I have...?”. I can’t go up and approach him. It’s not because of him, it’s because of me...I’m terrified. Then they...(work colleagues)... say to me “you should go for that”, if they only knew the truth, I don’t want anyone to know my background...instead of moving up in work I’ve moved down. I couldn’t say I want more because I’d be afraid.

One witness whose life was, like many others, a catalogue of jobs with varying levels of responsibility, always on the move, afraid of being found out as being from an Industrial School and having no family stated: I had the capacity to find a cosy corner somewhere, settle in and keep to myself and then the day would come when I would feel comfortable and give my opinion about something and they would all wonder where that came from, I’d show myself as someone with a brain. Then I would have to move on again, afraid I’d be discovered ...(to have been in an Industrial School).... • I work nightshift, which suits me grand because they leave me alone, nobody bothers me. I can just get on with my work, they know I’m a good worker. I always keep busy myself, that’s how I cope.

Table 47 below shows the highest education level attended, but not in all instances completed, by both male and female witnesses:

Highest level of education	Males	%	Females	%	Total witnesses	%
Primary	327	79	249	66	576	73
Secondary	52	13	83	22	135	17
Third level	34	8	44	12	78	10
No schooling	0	0	2	1	2	(0)
Total	413	100	378	(100)*	791	100

Two (2) female witnesses reported never having attended any form of classroom education. All other witnesses reported attending class for some period during their childhood, a number of whom reported attending only prior to their admission to the Schools.

With little or no preparation for open employment and life outside the institution the initial experience of being discharged was described by the majority of witnesses as a shock. As noted previously, aftercare provision and follow-up, with the exception of job placement, was reported as minimal or non-existent for the majority of witnesses and those who had spent most of their lives in an institution and had no family contact reported severe difficulties adjusting to society when they were discharged. I found it very difficult moving into a different society, I found it very, very hard. I was very shy, felt everybody was looking at me.... When I was 16 I got a job in a ... shop. I could not get used to farthings and 3-halfpence and things like that. They threw me out. ... I felt all the girls were laughing at me.... I was good for nothing at that stage. • Jobs I found very hard. I worked in Dublin for 3 years, the longest job I had. I had to work to pay my rent, when you’re not living with family...I used to think everybody was looking at me. I used to get red in the face. Getting a job...(in a public service area)...I was looking and learning and listening to how people behaved and copying them. I wasn’t asked questions, I was there on my own...I was in charge...I got confidence.

The pattern of emigration from Ireland to the UK seeking employment was a feature of witnesses’ lives in the period, especially in the 1950s and 1960s. At the time of their hearing, 290 witnesses (37%) were living in the UK. Casual labour, factory and domestic work were commonly reported employment options in the lives of witnesses discharged up to mid-1970s both in Ireland and the UK. The following table shows the occupational status of witnesses on the basis of their main form of employment, as reported at the time of their hearing:

Occupational status	Males	%	Females	%	Total witnesses	%
Semi-skilled or unskilled	298	72	262	69	560	71
Non-manual	29	7	56	15	85	11
Skilled manual	63	15	19	5	82	10
Professional	7	2	22	6	29	4
Managerial/technical	16	4	9	2	25	3
Unavailable	0	0	10	3	10	1
Total	413	100	378	100	791	100

One hundred and seventy (170) of the 791 male and female witnesses (21%) reported being placed directly into live-in jobs, including with farmers, shopkeepers, hotels, hospitals, and members of religious orders, when they were discharged from the School system. Many of those witnesses described being paid a minimal rate, sometimes not regularly or at all and were allowed little more freedom than they had in the School system. The employment placements were generally either in the vicinity of the institution from which they had been discharged or in Dublin. As reported previously, 27 witnesses reported being physically and sexually abused by their employers and by others in the context of their work setting in the years immediately following their discharge. In several instances the abuse was described as continuing over a long period of time. The witnesses routinely reported that they felt powerless to protect themselves and stop the abuse.