Chapter 14 — Children’s Homes

Emotional abuse

Forty two (42) witnesses, 22 male and 20 female, made 45 reports of emotional abuse regarding 16 Children’s Homes. There was some variation in the number of reports made in relation to each Home: Three (3) Children’s Homes were the subject of two to five reports, totalling 20 reports. Three (3) Children’s Homes were each the subject of four reports, totalling 12 reports. Three (3) Children’s Homes were each the subject of two reports, totalling six reports. Seven (7) Children’s Homes were each the subject of a single report.

Witnesses from a number of Homes reported that they experienced sustained abuse when exposed to ridicule, rejection, criticism and blame that left them feeling confused, vigilant and anxiously anticipating the next episode of physical or verbal abuse. All except one report of emotional abuse was combined with reports of physical abuse, sexual abuse and/or neglect.

Thirty five (35) witnesses, 21 male and 14 female, reported being fearful and feeling under a constant threat of abuse. Twenty nine (29) of these reports referred to six Homes where accounts were heard of a pervasive fear of physical and sexual abuse: ‘You were all tensed up all the time. It was the beatings ... thinking of the beating. It was the waiting instead of getting it done there and then, the waiting, it was agony’. Witnesses commented on the long-term negative impact of growing up in an environment dominated by fear, trying to please others, avoid condemnation and witnessing others being abused.

Witnesses consistently reported that the lack of protection from harm and the risk of punishment if they discussed or disclosed their abuse compounded their fear. Four (4) witnesses gave accounts of being threatened, isolated and removed from contact with their peers for disclosing abuse to external agencies and to staff. Witnesses who had no family contact and were considered to be orphans believed that they were more vulnerable to abuse. ‘Fear was a constant companion. You awoke in fear and went to bed in fear’.

Four (4) witnesses reported being fearful when they were removed from day-to-day activities in the Homes and were subjected to sexual abuse. They described being isolated from staff and peers, being taken to external venues by volunteer workers or being locked in isolated rooms where they were sexually abused.

Witnesses stated that they were put outside overnight or locked in small rooms or cupboards without food or light. One witness reported that ‘a very cruel nun’ locked her in a cupboard and threatened that she would not be allowed out until arrangements were made for her transfer to an Industrial School.

Twenty eight (28) witnesses, 18 male and 10 female, reported being exposed to constant criticism, hostility, personal ridicule, verbal abuse, and the denigration of their families. Witnesses reported that they were ridiculed about their family circumstances of poverty, parental alcohol abuse and the marital status of their parents. Lone mothers were reported to be the subject of particular denigration: ‘I was told my mother was a prostitute and that I belonged in the gutter.’ Me and my brother were told by staff not to play with other children who had families because we were bastards who should have been drowned when we were born. Our mother visited once a year, we were told not to say anything to her or we would get it ...(abuse)... worse. • Before Sr ...X... beat me I would have to carry my sheets across through the house in public to the laundry. She would say “the devil is inside you, ...(you)... can’t go to Mass until you have a bath”. She mocked me because I was an orphan and I was not allowed opportunities like other children.

Eight (8) witnesses, five male and three female, discharged from Homes in all decades, described various forms of emotional abuse associated with bed-wetting and personal hygiene. They described being made to carry their wet and soiled sheets in public, being called derogatory names, and having their faces forcibly rubbed into wet sheets. Other punishments for bed-wetting reported by a small number of witnesses was the humiliation of having their heads shaved and being forced to stand in front of religious statues for long periods. Four (4) witnesses described being humiliated by the practice of staff commenting on their soiled underwear in front of co-residents. We were punished if our pants were soiled although often there was no sanitary towels, there was no preparation for periods, and you were told it...(menstruation)... was the Virgin Mary’s gift.

Twenty seven (27) witnesses, 12 male and 15 female, reported an overall absence of affection or any kindness towards them; they commented on the lack of awareness or understanding of their need for affection and stability as children. ‘There was no understanding of our needs. You had nobody to turn to, you were on your own.’

A number of witnesses who had no contact with any family member and had been reared in institutional care reported that they had no experience of any demonstration of affection and were deprived of any emotional bond. The absence of the opportunity to form a secure attachment was reported to contribute to a sense of disconnection in relationships, both at the time and in adult life. In these circumstances witnesses commented that special attention, demonstrations of affection or treats occasionally available from staff and others, including volunteer workers, made them vulnerable to abuse. In the course of their hearings many expressed distress and unresolved anger that their emotional needs as children were not met.

The lack of emotional support or comfort in dealing with the death of a parent or sibling was described by a small number of witnesses. One witness reported that on returning from his father’s funeral he was told to ‘stop snivelling ... he is dead. Now you have no one to go to with your tales’.

Nineteen (19) witnesses, 17 male and two female, described their experience of fear, distress and shame when they were forced to observe co-residents being severely beaten. Eleven (11) of the witnesses reported witnessing severe physical abuse of their co-residents in four Children’s Homes. One witness named four other residents whom he witnessed being severely beaten and commented that they were ‘subjected to extremes of brutality’. Another witness commented: ‘... Named male religious staff... was particularly vicious to boys without parents, the orphans’.

Four (4) witnesses from one Children’s Home, which was the subject of reports of physical and sexual abuse, identified the same religious staff member as the person who abused their co-residents. Witnesses described unresolved anger and upset about what they observed and a number were distressed in the process of recounting what had happened to their childhood peers. Named male religious staff...would lose his temper and beat boys viciously, I was hit by him, but I watched severe violence to older boys. In particular I saw ...named co-resident... so severely beaten until he was unable to stand up, he beat him as one man would do to another and not as a man to a boy. He punched him under the chin, about the face and body, and left him in a heap. • Looking back as an adult I did receive abuse, some terrible attacks, but I think psychologically I’d be left more with what I witnessed than what I received. When I was on the receiving end, you just kept your head down, you put yourself into a ball, you didn’t see what was happening to you. Somehow the mind switches off, somehow you can accept it, you just put your head down and stay going and pick yourself up. Personally what I witnessed left more of a scar than what I received.

Ten (10) witnesses reported being deprived of contact with their family members, including five who reported being separated from siblings placed in the same Children’s Homes. Others described being deprived of visits from parents and family members as a punishment for the breach of a rule or, they believed, to prevent them revealing an injury or disclosing abuse. Witnesses also reported being forbidden to speak to their older siblings in the same institution.

The loss of identity was compounded for witnesses by separation from their siblings. Other witnesses described the loss and disadvantage they experienced both at the time and in their later lives, due to the lack of information provided about their family, their birth and the circumstances of their admission.