Chapter 16 — Hospitals

Current circumstances

Eight (8) witnesses reported experiencing a notable level of depression, for which four witnesses reported receiving treatment including medication and hospitalisation. They reported their difficulties to have lessened as they got older and also in response to treatment and counselling. I was cracking up except I didn’t know it...I remember I was working in...X company...I remember crying and not knowing why, and not being able to stop it and I knew that I was in trouble....The best decision ever was to accept responsibility for my life, that I was the only one who could do anything about it... • I had to go for a lot of therapy then...I was very angry, very aggressive. I was depressed, I didn’t know what was happening to me...I went for a long time, I found it very helpful.

Six (6) witnesses were categorised as experiencing poor mental health, which was signified by depression, hospitalisation, suicidal thoughts, and alcohol abuse. In some instances witnesses reported these experiences being also associated with violence. One witness reported life-long emotional and mental health difficulties that he believed were the result of the treatment and/or abuse he was subjected to in a psychiatric hospital as an adolescent.

Effects on adult life

Approximately half the witnesses who reported being abused as children in hospital facilities described life-long negative effects of the abuse they experienced, including being hospitalised and treated for depression and suicidal behaviour, abusing alcohol, and experiencing relationship difficulties, social isolation and continued feelings of anger. The nightmares were there but gradually they stopped... I lost me childhood, I lost me schooling, and I lost me confidence.

The following table lists the difficulties described by the 17 male and 14 female witnesses in their adult lives, in order of frequency. They are not mutually exclusive and were not prioritised by witnesses, who could report more than one effect.

Male witnesses	Female witnesses
Effects on adult life*	Number of reports	Effects on adult life*	Number of reports
Angry	10	Abuse not easily forgotten	10
Counselling required	8	Anxious and fearful	5
Abuse not easily forgotten	7	Lack of self-worth	5
Alcohol abuse	7	Counselling required	4
Feeling isolated	6	Angry	3
Lack of self-worth	6	Tearfulness	3
Mood instability	6	Feeling different from peers	3
Aggressive behaviour – physical	5	Feelings related to being a victim	3
Lack of trust	5	Lack of trust	3
Post-traumatic effect	5	Post-traumatic effect	3
Anxious and fearful	4	Unable to show feelings to partner	3
Feelings related to being a victim	4	Loner	2
Loner	4	Nightmares	2
Suicidal feelings or attempt	4	Overprotective of children	2
Aggressive behaviour – verbal	3	Overly compliant behaviour	2
Feelings related to being powerless	3	Sexual problems	2
Nightmares	3	Somatic symptoms	2
Overprotective of children	3	Suicidal feelings or attempt	2
Sleep disturbance	3	Withdrawal	2
Unable to settle	3	Alcohol abuse	1
Withdrawal	3	Fear of failure	1
Aggressive behaviour – psychological	2	Feeling isolated	1
Gender identity and sexual problems	3	Feelings related to being powerless	1
Somatic symptoms	2	Issues of needing approval	1
Unable to show feelings to children	2	Mood instability	1
Unable to show feelings to partner	2	Sleep disturbance	1
Tearfulness	1	Not applicable
Fear of failure	1	Not applicable
Over harsh with children	1	Not applicable

The experience of feeling abandoned by parents and family was frequently reported by witnesses in relation to their hospitalisation. Thirteen (13) witnesses, especially those who remained in hospital for a substantial period of their childhood, remarked on the sense of loss they experienced. Several witnesses commented that their admission to hospital was a distressing experience for their parents, and in some instances led to a sense of alienation from the family members who had remained at home. Many witnesses commented that, as a result of being hospitalised, they felt different from their siblings and less a part of their family: I had my own ways of doing things, I was bold...what they... (family) ... would call bold, because in the hospital you had to fight, I had to fight for whatever...to be myself, whatever that was, They ...(family) ... found that difficult. • I remember losing any sense of belonging, or any sense of family at quite an early age. • It was very difficult to fit back into the family when discharged from hospital, I remember being brought home and remember there was a party and I was taken around to each one of them ... (siblings) ... and I didn’t know any of them...distressed...and that was hard.

Witnesses commented that childhood experiences of separation and isolation made it more difficult to form close attachments with their own partners and children. Witnesses who were sexually abused described a particular difficulty in relation to intimate relationships in adulthood. I was very angry with my husband and then I said “He doesn’t deserve this”... I had to let him alone...he was a good man ... I had to look at my own issues... we are still together anyway!

Witnesses who were admitted to hospital from families where there were close and affectionate relationships described being shocked to find themselves both witnessing and being subject to abuse they had not previously encountered. A number of these witnesses described being now fearful of authority and generally more anxious in their adult lives than their siblings who had remained at home. Two (2) of these witnesses commented on the reactivated trauma they experienced when their own children were admitted to hospital many years later.

The lack of formal education combined with years of being treated as a sick and disabled person while in hospital was reported by many witnesses to have had a long-term negative impact on their lives. Alcohol abuse, depression and suicidal thoughts were reported by approximately one quarter of the witnesses as life-long consequences of their childhood abuse experiences. Counselling was reported to have helped some witnesses address issues related to their past.