Chapter 17 — Primary and second-level schools

Current circumstances

Many witnesses stated that their experiences of abuse had a traumatic impact on their subsequent relationships and made it difficult to sustain secure, stable attachments in adult life. Others described having partners who had been supportive and understanding and that they had achieved some happiness, notwithstanding occasional difficulties. A number of male witnesses commented that they were unable to sustain close relationships and had a tendency to ‘run from relationships’ or felt ‘unable to love people’.

Thirty nine (39) witnesses reported being married at the time of their hearing, 21 of whom described being happily married. Others described being involved in satisfying second partnerships having had difficulties in earlier marriages. Table 105 outlines the relationship status of witnesses at the time of their hearing:

Status of relationship	Males	Females	Total witnesses
Married	29	10	39
Single	14	1	15
Separated	4	0	4
Widowed	2	2	4
Co-habiting	6	1	7
Divorced	1	0	1
Total	56	14	70

Twenty six (26) witnesses reported having had difficulties establishing and maintaining relationships. They commented that they lacked confidence, found it difficult to socialise and had trouble trusting others, as one witness remarked: ‘I don’t trust no one’. Other witnesses reported being isolated, withdrawn and being preoccupied by details of past abuse to the detriment of adult relationships.

Fifteen (15) witnesses stated that they had difficulties in intimate relationships, generally attributed to childhood experiences of sexual abuse. Some witnesses described ambivalence about sexual and gender identity at some point in their lives. Others described life-long difficulties in their intimate relationships: I had relationships, there was one getting very close to marriage. I bailed out .... I had great difficulties in sexual relationships. I had a lot of anger in myself... • There’s a lot of frustration there and my marriage is not particularly great ... (sexual relationship) ... because of this whole thing ....

Witnesses described having variable relationships with their children ranging from being overprotective to being harsh, and in some instances abusive. Others commented that relationships with their children changed over time depending on the developmental age of the child and their own development as parents. Witnesses commented that their confidence as parents was linked, at times, with their own progress and recovery from past abuse. A number of witnesses reported parenting difficulties to be the result of their depression or in the context of marital disharmony.

Forty nine (49) witnesses, 39 male and 10 female, reported having children. Twenty four (24) described their children as doing well in many aspects of their lives. They enjoyed regular contact, supportive and mutually rewarding relationships with their children. I did try to commit suicide ... I was on a bridge and the light of my children’s faces... (prevented suicide attempt) ... that’s probably why I’m here today ...

Nineteen (19) witnesses described being strict, overprotective and at times harsh parents, leading to relationship breakdown with their children. One witness commented: ‘I became a bully, I became an abuser too. My boy, I clattered him. I hurt my wife, I hurt everybody’. Another witness stated: ‘In the last year or so I have been angry with... (children).... I’ve never hit my... (children)... but I shout. They’re great, lovely...’.

Two (2) witnesses reported that three of their children were sexually abused, both within and outside the family.

Five (5) male witnesses were non-custodial parents and generally described inconsistent contact with their children. A small number of witnesses reported that they co-parented their partners’ children.

Six (6) witnesses did not provide details about their parenting experiences.

Forty three (43) witnesses reported a stable and consistent history of employment in a wide range of occupations. They reported successful careers in trades, professional and managerial positions, factory and labouring work, and a number were self-employed. Seventeen (17) of the 43 witnesses reported that they had successful careers following further education and training as adults. Table 106 outlines the employment status reported by witnesses at the time of their hearing:

Employment status	Males	Females	Total witnesses
Employed	24	9	33
Retired	11	0	11
Self -employed	10	0	10
Unemployed	6	1	7
Disability income	5	0	5
Working at home	0	4	4
Total	56	14	70

Six (6) male witnesses reported difficulties maintaining stable employment due to alcohol or drug abuse and two witnesses reported that they had never been employed. Four (4) female witnesses reported having worked in the home since they married. Others reported that they were no longer employed, were retired or were in receipt of disability income.

Table 107 illustrates the level of education attended, but not in all instances completed, by witnesses who reported abuse in schools:

Highest level of education	Males	Females	Total witnesses
Primary	13	1	14
Secondary	26	7	33
Third level	17	6	23
Total	56	14	70

A number of witnesses reported that they attended second-level school but were unable to successfully complete their education due to the trauma of their abusive experiences. They described being fearful, unable to concentrate and distracted by the risk of further abuse or memories of past abuse. Seventeen (17) witnesses gave accounts of attending third-level education as mature students.

Most witnesses reported having stable and secure housing arrangements as illustrated in the following table:

Accommodation	Males	Females	Total witnesses
Owner occupiers	36	12	48
Local authority/council housing	7	0	7
Private rented accommodation	5	0	5
With relatives	4	1	5
Sheltered housing	1	0	1
Hostel	1	0	1
Unavailable	2	1	3
Total	56	14	70