Chapter 18 — Residential Laundries, Novitiates, Hostels and other settings

Positive experiences

Fifteen (15) witnesses reported that aspects of their experiences in these out-of-home placements were positive, and they had some good memories of their time in institutional care. Five (5) witnesses reported that the general routine including educational, recreational and social activities was positive and enjoyable.

Two (2) witnesses reported that kind nuns supported them, provided occasional treats, and facilitated excursions outside the institutions. Two (2) male witnesses commented that, notwithstanding the sexual abuse they experienced, they also had positive encounters with their abusers. Other witnesses valued the opportunity for friendships with co-residents while in the institutions.

Many witnesses reported that visits from their parents and contact with family were valuable and sustained them while they were in the institutions. Others commented that any contact with the outside world was appreciated.

Four (4) witnesses reported that the institutions provided them with respite and protection from the physical or sexual abuse they had experienced prior to their admission while in the care of their families.

Current circumstances

The Act enabled the Committee to hear both evidence of child abuse and the continuing effects on those who suffered abuse. In the course of their hearings witnesses provided information about their social circumstances, relationships, and the enduring effects of their abusive experiences on their psychological, emotional and physical health. This section contains some unavoidable overlap with the details of 13 witnesses who also reported abuse in other institutions.

Ten (10) witnesses reported that they returned to their family home when they left the residential facility. A number of the witnesses described difficulties reintegrating with their family and left home within a short period. Four (4) of the 10 witnesses stated that they were sexually or physically abused by family members when they returned home.

Two (2) witnesses gave accounts of being placed in work situations by religious staff and seven others were transferred to Industrial or Reformatory Schools or residential laundries. Others described periods of homelessness and early involvement in criminal activity on leaving the institution.

Eighteen (18) witnesses reported having difficulties establishing stable adult relationships. They described particular difficulties in relation to trust, intimacy and safe partnerships that were free of violence. I used to be roaring and bawling after I married...it was the first bit of love I was ever shown in my life. I do try to be with people and get in contact with them, but something gets in the way, I can’t do it...

Many witnesses gave accounts of ambivalent, unstable and disrupted relationships characterised by conflict, abuse and unhappiness. Six (6) witnesses gave accounts of marital violence, three of whom reported having histories of criminal convictions. Eleven (11) witnesses reported that they were divorced or had separated from their original partner or spouse and a number of those witnesses were in new relationships at the time of their hearing. Five (5) witnesses reported a happy or stable marriage lasting many years, or a happy second partnership.

Nineteen (19) witnesses reported having children of their own. A number of witnesses commented that relationships with their children who were born later in the witnesses’ lives were less conflicted as they had achieved a greater degree of stability in their lives over the years. Many witnesses who reported having their own children described variable parenting relationships over different stages of their children’s development. I did the best with what I had, which wasn’t a whole lot ...I feel guilty and I will do till the day I die...It was partly my fault for the kids turning out that way, but I had no role model as a mother I knew no better.... She...(daughter)... blames me for everything that went wrong in her life, she says I was never there for her....The poor kids missed out on so much, I did not know how to hug or kiss or cuddle them...

Seven (7) witnesses described having difficulties, including being unable to show affection, being harsh, and at times abusive when their children were young. These difficulties were said to have contributed to the subsequent loss of contact with children. Four (4) witnesses reported that they were not involved in rearing their own children. Two (2) of these witnesses had children placed for adoption and two others had children who were reared in out-of-home care.

Five (5) witnesses reported enjoying stable and happy relationships with their children.

Four (4) witnesses reported that their children had difficulties related to alcohol or drug addiction, and two others stated that their children were ‘in and out’ of prison. They had it terrible with me. One of them is a pure junkie and the other has a problem with the drink, I think he has HIV. His children are in care. I never told them any of me problems. She ...(his spouse)... used to hide the kids when I’d come in with the drink, I’d be roaring and shouting.

At the time of their hearing most witnesses were or had been employed for a substantial period of their lives. Table 115 illustrates the employment status of witnesses at the time of their hearing:

Employment status	Males	Females	Total witnesses
Employed	3	3	6
Retired	0	3	3
Disability income	2	2	4
Unemployed	4	1	5
Self-employed	2	1	3
Working at home	1	3	4
Total	12	13	25

Four (4) of the witnesses who were unemployed described a history of alcohol/drug abuse and/or reported that they had served a period in prison. Others reported that they had periods of employment but were unable to settle, had difficulties with authority in the workplace or with peers, and as a result they changed jobs frequently. A number of witnesses reported that they had been successful in their own businesses where they valued their autonomy and had control over their work situation. Others sought work where they were isolated and did not have to mix with colleagues: ‘It was after all the staff left, I had a cleaning job everyone was gone and I was on my own, it suited me that way, I didn’t mix.’