Chapter 7 — Record of abuse (male witnesses)

Emotional abuse

As previously shown, 166 abuse reports were of all four types combined. In all but six instances (98%), witnesses reported emotional abuse in conjunction with physical abuse and in 291 instances (89%) witnesses reported both emotional abuse and neglect. There was some inevitable overlap between the reports of emotional abuse and the other three abuse types given in evidence.

The following table shows the distribution of witness accounts of emotional abuse across the decades covered by this Report:20

Decade of discharge	Number of emotional abuse reports	%
Pre-1960s	134	41
1960-69	137	42
1970-79	45	14
1980-89	11	3
Total	327	100

As noted with other abuse reports almost 45% of the reports relating to those discharged in the 1960s refer to witnesses who spent the majority of their time in the Schools during the 1950s.

Witnesses reported a daily existence in the Schools that was dominated by fear, humiliation, loneliness, and the absence of affection. Fear was strongly associated with the daily threat of being physically and otherwise abused and seeing co-residents being abused. Constant apprehension about the next abuse to which they would be subjected was also a feature. Witnesses reported being humiliated and denigrated in many ways, both deliberately in the presence of others and, less directly, in the way they were spoken to and treated. The rejection, hostility and criticism of staff was consistently described by witnesses as a cause of great distress. The isolation of witnesses from their parents and other family members was traumatic. The most frequently reported areas of emotional abuse are summarised and include: deprivation of affection, personal ridicule, deprivation of family contact, the denial of identity, being given false and/or inaccurate information regarding their background, and witnessing others being abused, the associated guilt and constant apprehension. Even when I was in the dormitory you used to hear the frock, the thing they ...(Brothers)... used wear. I’d hear them walking down and you’d be hoping they would not stop at you. I remember in the bed praying to God they would take somebody else instead of you, and then would say “thanks God for saving me”. You’d feel guilty about that.... The screams of the fellas being abused, everyone could hear it.... I was actually terrified.

One hundred and ninety four (194) witnesses described the lack of physical and verbal affection shown to them throughout their time in the School system. They reported receiving minimal emotional support, encouragement or comfort in the course of their childhood in institutional care. ‘There was a belief that you were on your own as a child or young person with no one to talk to about worries, fears, abuse or family.’ The rigid and harsh structure of institutional life excluded the development of affectionate attachment or any close relationships. Demonstrations of physical affection were described as specifically discouraged by staff. I remember the loneliness. You’d be in bed at night and you would be wondering, why didn’t mam come or why didn’t dad come? There was no one to hug you. I was not physically harmed there. It was emotional, nobody would come to you, it was just an emptiness, nothing to latch onto. I don’t understand how they didn’t see it. You’re lonely, unloved, unwanted.

As the circumstances of admission for many witnesses involved separation from their parents and siblings, witnesses described the subsequent deprivation of affection as a particularly serious and traumatic loss. News about their parents and family members was cherished information that a number of witnesses reported was routinely withheld for various reasons. One witness said that following his mother’s death a Brother whom he had beaten in a game on the playing pitch said: ‘Well here’s one game you’re not going to win, your mother died 3 weeks ago’.

Thirty (30) witnesses specifically reported on the unavailability of any person to confide in, which led to the belief that there was nobody who cared for or about them: ‘the worst thing was having no one to talk to, no one said a nice word to you. It was clear no one cared if you lived or died’. ‘Orphans’ and other witnesses who had been in care since early childhood, were particularly affected by the deprivation of any affectionate attachment or emotional bond. He, Br ...X... told to get my clothes on me ...(following public beating)... told to get out and head back down to the yard. You tried to get yourself together, tried to sit down. I was marked, I was cut.... There was this bench along by the wall.... I don’t think I ever heard anybody ever asked ...(ask)... “were you alright?” The other kids come around you, laughing at you, jeering, they were just saying “glad it wasn’t me”. You looked after yourself.

One hundred and sixty nine (169) witnesses reported that they were personally ridiculed and denigrated on a regular basis during their time in the Schools. Being verbally abused by staff was reported as a feature of everyday life in the dormitories, classrooms, refectories and other areas. Verbal abuse was frequently described as associated with physical abuse and part of the daily pattern of communication: ‘we were made to feel constantly ashamed’. Ridicule in class was described as a routine experience by 21 witnesses who had learning or associated difficulties. Nine (9) witnesses described being ridiculed in class because they had a stammer and of being repeatedly told there was no point in educating them. I had a very bad stammer when I was there, didn’t have it before. Had to go to ...named hospital... to get it remedied. ... I suffered quite a lot because of that, in the classroom and so on. I was not able to get an answer out in the class. If I put my hand up, you’d get a beating for that. Most of my life there operated on fear, of beatings and adults. It got to a stage with the stammer that I just didn’t answer questions, that was quite frightening. Some of the Brothers were quite sadistic.

As previously reported, witnesses were routinely humiliated by the methods used to punish residents for bed-wetting. Fifty two (52) witnesses described the humiliation associated with having to wear wet sheets on their head and in other ways endure public embarrassment. Twenty three (23) witnesses said that they were constantly ridiculed when called offensive names by staff, such as ‘slasher’ and ‘smelly’.

Other witnesses reported being forced to carry out certain tasks intended to punish and humiliate both themselves and other residents. Examples of such tasks were being made to watch steps for three hours ‘so as to be sure they were still there’, kneel in their underpants in the yard for hours, being forced to run into a wall and injure themselves in front of co-residents and to repeatedly shift a load of potatoes from one side of a shed to the other over an entire day. Another witness described a co-resident’s punishment for giving him extra bread: He ...(co-resident)... had to carry the food down to the turkeys and then he had to kneel in with the turkeys and have his bread and water in there. That was his punishment for 3 weeks. • If you did a job like bring in the coal, there might be some extra food. You’d stand with your plate at the end of the table ...(in the refectory)... and waiting to be called. There would only be a few pieces of food and you wanted to make sure you got a bit. He’d ...(lay ancillary worker)... call you up and then when you were half way up he’d say “false alarm” and you’d have to go back with nothing. They do that to small children. ... These are the things that stay in you, it happened so many times.

Four (4) witnesses reported that as native Irish speakers they were ridiculed about their poor spoken English. Others with speech impediments reported being made to read aloud in front of others and were both ridiculed and punished for their lack of fluency. Witnesses who had a disability described being subjected to additional ridicule; for example a witness who had a physical deformity described being made the target of ridicule by staff during communal bath time. Witnesses remarked that while children in day schools may have suffered similar ridicule, those in the Schools lived with it all the time.

One hundred and twenty (120) witnesses reported being constantly afraid. They described a range of circumstances in which they were in fear for their own and others’ safety. In a number of different Schools witnesses described their experience as a ‘living hell’, ‘pure terror’, and ‘mental torture’ referring to being beaten, the anticipation of being beaten and the sight of others being beaten. Eleven (11) witnesses reported the fear and threat of harm being so extreme that they feared for both their own lives and for the safety of their co-residents. Five (5) witnesses reported co-residents were never seen again following particularly severe beatings. All five believed that these residents, three of whom were from the same School, may have died. There were some Brothers there who were A1. ... Then there was ...crying... ...Br ...X..., nasty bastard. The man doesn’t deserve to be called Brother. I was only 5 feet away the day it happened ...crying.... He had a habit, every day ... he’d walk up and down the refectory, that was his ritual. If he walked in everyone was on edge.... I’m not sure why but this evening he Br ...X... walked straight down the passage way and he dragged ...named co-resident... out of his chair ...crying... and he gave him an unmerciful beating, an unmerciful beating. I’m telling ye he did not stop with that leather strap. Now all the Brothers used to carry the leather strap, but I’m telling ye, you wouldn’t beat an animal the way he beat ...named co-resident.... To this day it haunts me, the whole place was full and he was left lying. Br ...X... cleared the place out, you all had to get out of the refectory, I was even told to get out of the kitchen. That was the last time, the very last time, I seen ...named co-resident.... I think it was 3 days afterwards I heard he was dead.... It has haunted me. After that Br...X... quietened down for awhile. I think he knew anyway.... • You were in constant fear, you were terrified all the time. There would be a sudden explosion of punishment as the poor souls were thrashed or whacked. In class I would be so fearful I would be shaking as the Brother passed, who might hit you for no reason. ... In the first 4 years ... I was filled with fear and terror, for yourself and for the next one to you. I would shut myself down and make myself invisible, I must not be seen or heard. You could be punished for anything at anytime and for nothing at anytime.... I resented someone exploding and beating someone senseless just because they were in a bad mood. • Fear is what we were ruled by and every day you lived in fear, as those so called Brothers, lay staff and older boys, either appointed or self-appointed head boys, could do what they liked to you for even the slightest wrong and you had no one to turn to. You just had to try and keep your head down and get on with it. • Everything operated on fear, you suffered, and you suffered big time, some physical, some mental. You could be put facing the wall for 2 hours, you would have your nose touching the wall, and if you moved at all, you’d suffer, it was mental suffering as well. You also had to put your fingers touching the wall, whoever ...(Br X)... was on rec...(supervisory duty in recreation area)... would watch you and if you moved you’d have to go to his office later and be leathered ... it was an inhuman way of treating people.

A cause of considerable fear that was recounted by 59 witnesses from nine Schools was the prospect of being stripped to be beaten or having to watch co-residents being beaten without their clothes. Such beatings were frequently in front of co-residents and staff and in public areas such as the dormitories, refectories and recreation yards. One boy tried to abscond, it was Br ...X’s... class. There was an incident and he ...(Br X)... got the whole class to come to the classroom, there were 2 other Brothers there too. This Br ...X... took his tunic off, and he had a striped shirt with, not a collar but a half collar on it and he had braces on. I will never forget, I can see it to this day. They took this boy’s pants off and put him over a form, a type of stool, you know a long stool, and he beat the living daylights out of him. He got the biggest hiding of his life with a leather strap with coins in it, you could see the track of them on his skin. Br ...X... threw water on him. A lot of the boys watching got sick, listening to the screaming like that, no pants on, you know, it was like watching Mutiny on the Bounty. That boy was not able to walk for a month.

Witnesses described the staff and others who abused them as creating an atmosphere of fear to augment control that they reported was reinforced in many Schools by the use of military-like regimentation. Examples of regimentation included: marching in formation, using whistles in place of verbal commands, public punishments, placing boys on a ‘charge’ for misbehaving and patrolling the yards and dormitories with sticks. Br ...X... he was brutality personified. The moment he came out into a yard of 150 boys playing, cheering, laughing there was silence. When you just saw him in his long soutane, silence, he marched in, blew the whistle and you would automatically line up in your lines of 12. If he ...(Br X)... blew the whistle, within 10 seconds you would not hear a sound, 150 boys were in line within ten seconds or otherwise you knew you were in for punishment. ... When he was in charge the life of every boy went into a depression, he was that cruel. Every day at 4 o’ clock on the dot we were lined up in the yard and the punishment names were called out, those boys would have to line up in front of the others, roll up their sleeves and get their beating for bed-wetting.

Witnesses reported being particularly fearful at night as they listened to residents screaming in cloakrooms, dormitories or in a staff member’s bedroom while they were being abused. Witnesses were conscious that co-residents whom they described as orphans had a particularly difficult time: The orphan children, they had it bad. I knew ...(who they were)... by the size of them, I’d ask them and they’d say they come from ...named institution.... They were there from an early age. You’d hear the screams from the room where Br ...X... would be abusing them. • There was one night, I wasn’t long there and I seen one of the Brothers on the bed with one of the young boys ... and I heard the young lad screaming crying and Br ...X... said to me “if you don’t mind your own business you’ll get the same”. ... I heard kids screaming and you know they are getting abused and that’s a nightmare in anybody’s mind. You are going to try and break out. ... So there was no way I was going to let that happen to me.... I remember one boy and he was bleeding from the back passage and I made up my mind, there was no way it ...(anal rape)... was going to happen to me. ... That used to play on my mind.