Chapter 15 — Foster care

Socialisation and follow-up care

Five (5) other witnesses reported that they never left their foster homes as they had ‘nowhere else to go’ or felt duty-bound to remain and care for elderly foster parents in what one witness referred to as a ‘prison’. The witnesses reported that they remained in their foster homes until they married or until their foster parents died.

Six (6) witnesses left their foster care placements in varying circumstances. Four (4) witnesses reported that they drew attention to their unhappiness by running away, disclosing abuse or asking to be moved. Two (2) witnesses were then placed in hostels where they reported receiving more support and professional assistance for their particular difficulties. Another witness described being given a home by a kind elderly neighbour who acted as a guardian until his death when the witness was a young adult.

Two (2) witnesses reported being sent to work as live-in domestics in institutional settings where they remained until they were sufficiently confident to move to positions where they had more freedom. Three (3) other witnesses found jobs when they were 16 years old and gradually became more independent and/or got married.

Four (4) witnesses who had minor disabilities gave accounts of being ‘dumped’ one way or another when they became ill, their principal foster carer died or the witness reached the age when foster care payments ceased. In these circumstances witnesses reported that different people, including relatives of the foster parents and welfare professionals, arranged assistance for them, including placement on a training program, transfer to a rehabilitation hospital and support with independent living.

Two (2) witnesses reported that they returned to live with their biological families when the difficulties that led to their out-of-home placement had been resolved.

Emotional abuse

Any other act or omission towards the child which results, or could reasonably be expected to result, in serious impairment of the physical or mental health or development of the child or serious adverse effects on his or her behaviour or welfare.4 The emotional abuse reported to the Committee included verbal abuse, social isolation and lack of affection, denial of contact with other children, denial of identity, personal ridicule, humiliation, and family denigration. Witnesses also reported being subjected to constant threats of abandonment, including being told that they would be ‘sent back’ or ‘sent away’ to an Industrial School if they misbehaved or displeased their foster parents.

The experience of being placed with foster families was marked by loneliness and isolation for many of the 24 witnesses who gave evidence to the Committee, 18 of whom reported being emotionally abused while in foster care. They reported feeling ‘abandoned’ to their fate, ignored by State authorities, and forgotten about by parents and relatives, including biological parents, some of whom subsequently married and reared families.

Four (4) witnesses reported being placed with foster families where they were exposed to trauma and emotional instability in the context of domestic violence, marital conflict or mental illness. There were rows all the time, when something would go wrong we ... (foster children)... were called names. If something was lost ... (foster mother would say)... “that bastard’s lost it”. ... (foster carers were)... always throwing things around.

Four (4) other witnesses reported being removed from placements where they had been settled, and relocated with different foster carers. They reported that the transfers occurred without discussion. The witnesses believed that their placement transfers were facilitated for the specific purpose of providing company and assistance to elderly, childless individuals and couples.

One witness described spending the first nine years of his life in a foster home where he was very happy and where he suffered no abuse. He recounted being sent with 24 hours’ notice and no explanation to another foster home where he was physically and sexually abused. Another witness reported being removed from a settled placement to be sent as a foster child to an elderly woman, commenting that the papers facilitating this placement were signed by a priest who was a close relative of the woman. A male witness reported being sent from a residential institution where he had been placed with his siblings. He reported that he was placed with a farming couple who had no children, where he worked hard until he was discharged to his own family when he was 16 years old.

Eleven (11) witnesses reported being shown no affection by their foster parents. The experience of being deprived of affection was particularly remarked upon by witnesses who were placed with families where there were biological children. Witnesses reported being treated differently and less favourably than the biological children; for example three witnesses reported being sexually abused by the sons of their foster parents from whom they were afforded no protection.

Eight (8) witnesses reported that their foster parents were consistently harsh and unkind to them. They reported being treated as unpaid labourers rather than as children and frequently reminded that they were ‘orphans’. She ... (foster mother)... was always telling me “I’m not your mother, I got you from the Home and I can give you back just as quick”. ... This woman didn’t want me and she couldn’t get rid of me. • We had to put up with her ... (foster mother)... and her uncontrollable temper. She will probably never know the hurt she has caused or the influence she has had. I don’t think she ever saw me as a child, just an annoyance and every little thing I did just annoyed her. She hated me, she told me often enough.

A number of witnesses described being isolated from support both within the foster home and in the wider community. They reported being forbidden to speak or interact with the biological children in the family and were discouraged from sharing confidences with other foster children. Witnesses described witnessing other foster children in the family being abused but feeling unable to defend them or offer them any support for fear of attracting similar abuse themselves. ‘We...foster children... didn’t talk to each other, we all lived in a sort of personal isolation because we couldn’t trust each other...

Witnesses also described being prevented or discouraged from interacting with neighbours. Three (3) witnesses regarded this as a protective measure due to the derogatory manner in which they were treated by the neighbouring children. Witnesses also reported being ostracised in the local school, subjected to offensive remarks from other children and, in four instances, from teachers. ‘Some of the local school children knew we were bastards, told us so and threw stones as we passed’. Other witnesses believed that being forbidden to speak to local children was a means of reinforcing their isolation and sense of being different from other children.

It was reported that the neighbours of one foster family were particularly kind and it was believed that they attempted to protect the foster children in various ways. A witness reported that she and other foster children were sent out at night to steal from these neighbours’ fields, causing much fear and anguish: We’d be sent to steal firewood from the neighbours...you’d be frightened and they’d ... (foster parents)... kind of absolve themselves of all responsibility because they’d say ... “you’re orphans, we won’t have any responsibility, that ... (stealing)... is expected of you kind of people”.... You knew you were doing something wrong, at school we knew the 7th commandment, “thou shalt not steal”.... I was totally confused by all this and the fact that they’d ... (foster parents)... report it was us who stole.... It wasn’t a nice feeling.