2,143 entries for Witness Testimony

Seven (7) witnesses reported that when they told staff they were being abused they were not believed and the staff did nothing to address the reported complaint. Witnesses commented on the fact that disclosure often resulted in being punished for ‘telling tales’. In other circumstances witnesses reported that while their disclosure was punished, the abuse subsequently stopped. I went back to the orphanage and told them that I was being abused, she... (person in charge)... told me “you are always causing trouble”, she wouldn’t listen to me. She told me I was lying. How can any child... (make up something like that )... she wouldn’t listen to me. I didn’t even know what sexual abuse was. I thought it was the right thing, he was giving me money. When I tried to explain to one of the nuns that he was touching me she said “there you are, lying again” and pushed me away.

Two (2) other witnesses reported that their parents wrote letters of complaint to the person in charge who subsequently met them and minimised the seriousness of the disclosed abuse. ‘I told my parents, they believed me, as far as I know. My mother wrote to ...named lay teacher... but it made no difference.’ There was no positive outcome for these witnesses. Another witness’s father intervened and spoke to the person in charge, it was believed the reported abuser was reprimanded but not removed. Following parental intervention another witness reported being removed from the residential part of the service to continue attending as a day pupil.

A positive example of external intervention was provided by a witness who complained repeatedly to staff that he was being bullied by older co-residents and was punished in response. Despite his complaints being ignored by staff he persisted in complaining about being constantly picked on and taunted by a group of older boys whom he feared. The witness reported that one day this group of co-residents threatened his life in a public place. A passing member of the public saw what was happening and intervened ‘Actually a doctor rang the staff and they were told off for it. ... I think they were a bit afraid after that.’

Twenty six (26) witnesses reported having some positive memories of their time in the special needs schools and services. The kindness of religious and lay staff was often reported in relation to admission to the facilities and the assistance provided to witnesses when they were leaving. Fourteen (14) witnesses commented on the good experience of having kind teachers and 11 religious staff were named as particularly kind by a number of witnesses. Some of the nuns were very, very nice. I can’t take that away from them... I’d have to say they were fairly good to us....There was one nun, Sr ...Y..., she was a nice person, she took me and said “listen, you aren’t a bad person”. • The... (lay care worker)... was one of the nicest, kindest people ever in my life, he would give us chocolate to keep us quiet, rocked us to sleep. I don’t remember anything bad ever happening with him.

Twenty six (26) witnesses, 19 male and seven female, who reported being single and who had never married, were in sheltered living situations or had lived in residential facilities for most of their lives. Eighteen (18) witnesses, 11 male and seven female, who were married at the time of their hearing described their marriages as happy, stable, supportive and of many years duration. Several witnesses reported meeting and marrying partners who had similar childhood experiences as their own. Met... (my)... husband to be, got married and didn’t go back to work. When I met my husband we had great communication ... I was so happy to be with him ... we left all the past behind, we really forgot about that ...(childhood abuse)...

Eighteen (18) witnesses described themselves as having struggled with the effects of institutional care and abuse for years following their discharge from special needs schools and residential facilities. Childhood sexual abuse was reported by 10 witnesses to have had a particularly detrimental effect on their adult relationships. Alcohol abuse and unresolved anger were noted features of the relationships difficulties described by a small number of witnesses. I started drinking too much, found myself not able to go into work the next day and I didn’t feel very good about that ... went to AA ... for all my sins I think I do still drink more than I should ... they all say to me “you’re such a nice man without it” ... • For...years after I left I lived the best I could. I wasn’t aware that things were so difficult as they were, I normalised all that went wrong...That left me socially very difficult...I couldn’t handle it at all, relationships and that... • I’d say all the group... (former co-residents)... ended up in trouble with alcohol, or social isolation or didn’t make it into relationships at all.... A lot of them... (are)... very bitter and isolated, they continue to survive, just survive.

Counselling and the support of partners, family and professionals were all reported to have contributed to happier outcomes for a number of witnesses. Married... ( many years)... very happy. My wife understands my problem. We have...children. I didn’t understand for a long time, when I got married first ... about... (sexual)... relations...(until)... I went to see the counsellor ... I don’t know how ...wife ... did enjoy the relationship. Because of sexual abuse in the school, that put me off... I can’t enjoy sexual relations... (but)... we have worked it out,... wife...is brilliant.

Twenty (20) witnesses, 12 male and eight female, reported having a total of 59 children. Ten (10) described having good relationships with their children. Four (4) witnesses described themselves as overprotective of their children and another three reported being harsh or abusive parents. They reported hitting and slapping their children, commenting that they treated their children as they had been treated themselves. When my children were bold or wild I slapped them. Sometimes I slapped them around the face and I remember one day.... I slapped him... (son)... repeatedly around the face. He started crying, he got frightened, I lost my temper with him I think, I didn’t realise until afterwards that it was wrong to slap. It was what I had learned in school ... I didn’t know anything about child abuse. I remember when I was driving there was a big...(advertising poster)... about how not to slap your child, that it can affect them mentally, and that had a huge impact. I was wondering, you know, what did I do to my children?... (I)... felt so guilty, so very, very guilty. I was very hard on them, I did slap them very hard ... distressed and crying ... I remember seeing this poster and I felt so guilty.... I loved them... and they loved me and I remember thinking why did I do that to them?... I realised I learned that from the school, they did that to me all the time and I did that to the children. I feel terrible guilty about that ... and then I stopped and they behaved very well after that.

For other witnesses employment was reported as a problematic area of their lives. Fifteen (15) reported having great difficulty settling into employment and as a result have been unemployed for substantial periods of time. The Committee heard numerous reports of witnesses being poorly treated by employers and making frequent job changes in attempts to find better situations. Relations with work colleagues were citied as a problem area. Several witnesses reported that communication difficulties with their work colleagues contributed to them feeling victimised in various ways. Others commented on the fact that they were disadvantaged in employment situations by what they regarded as the prejudice of both co-workers and employers towards people with disabilities. The lack of preparation for independence and a social life outside the institutional setting was believed by many of these witnesses to have contributed to the particular difficulties experienced. I was raped when I was... (homeless)... it was a bad rape. I think I had a breakdown, I was working on kind of overdrive ... I didn’t care anymore what happened to me, I’d get a job and then I’d lose it. I felt like I closed down a great deal. I gave up wanting to get a job. • I was happy... (at work)... and everything was good, but as soon as I was given out to again it all came flooding back. They were wrong at school to be constantly giving out to us, because we didn’t know how to answer back, we didn’t know how to be ... assertive.

Eleven (11) witnesses reported having no particular mental health problems. Six (6) of the 11 witnesses who reported good mental health described experiencing some emotional difficulties in the past. Such difficulties included anxiety, loneliness and depression, which they believed was related to their childhood abuse. A number of witnesses reported that counselling had helped them to deal with their emotional difficulties and others commented that they had learned to accept their painful memories and experiences of their childhood. Since I’ve gone to counselling and that I don’t feel as bad as I used to ... I think the counsellor put it into perspective ... It wasn’t my fault, I’ve nothing to be ashamed of .... • Counselling was very helpful. It’s finished. I miss her... (counsellor)... terrible but she thinks I was ready to finish. • I... (get depressed)... sometimes,...(there’s)... no treatment, nobody could cure me. I’ll go with it to the grave. I’ll never change, it’s impossible, it’s in my mind.

Fourteen (14) witnesses described a range of mental health concerns including depression, alcoholism and anxiety, which have had a notable impact on their lives and which in five instances have necessitated in-patient psychiatric treatment in the past. Three (3) of the 14 witnesses reported that their alcohol abuse was a response to feelings of depression, loneliness and anger related to childhood abuse. One witness reported a past history of self-harm and two other witnesses reported that they had acted on suicidal thoughts in the past. The mental health status of these 14 witnesses was categorised as reasonable by the Committee and were markedly different to the circumstances of other witnesses whose mental health status was categorised as poor. A certain thing will remind me of it... (childhood abuse)... like food reminds me of it. I do attribute myself being overweight to... (childhood memories of food)..., now I eat what I want when I want it, and not horrible food and food that was never touched in there...(school)..., not potatoes. I was bulimic for a while first when I left... but I stopped that ... and self harm, I was cutting myself.

Twenty one (21) of the 49 witnesses who provided information about their adult life circumstances described an ongoing sense of isolation and inability to trust others. Fourteen (14) of those witnesses reported life-long difficulties as a result of the sexual abuse they experienced, particularly in terms of their ability to trust people. Other witnesses reported that separation from their families in childhood has contributed to their sense of feeling isolated and different from others. For some witnesses the relationships with their brothers and sisters have never been properly restored, depriving them of practical and emotional support networks in their adult lives. No contact whatsoever ... (with siblings) ... I’ve tried, the only thing I can say is I’ve tried to get in contact with each and every one,... but they have their own...(difficulties).

This section of the Report presents the evidence provided to the Confidential Committee by witnesses in relation to their experiences of abuse in Children’s Homes in Ireland over a period of 73 years between 1919 and 1992. The majority of Children’s Homes, previously known as orphanages and approved schools, were managed by Catholic religious communities or Boards of Trustees affiliated to Protestant churches. In latter decades a number of Children’s Homes were managed and funded by State agencies. The Homes were generally privately managed and were, in earlier decades, not subject to the same statutory inspections as the Industrial Schools. Placement of a child in a Children’s Home could be made directly by their parent, or guardian, on a voluntary basis. Such placements occurred most frequently in the context of a family crisis and were paid for by private means. Other sources of funding included private endowments and charitable benevolent funds. A child could also be placed in a Children’s Home by order of the court under the Children Act, 1908 following an application by officers1 of the local health authority or the regional Health Board, and in particular circumstances by the Garda Síochana.2

Twelve (12) of the Children’s Homes were located in Irish cities and the other seven were located in provincial and rural areas.

On the basis of the information provided by witnesses at their hearings it is understood that their pathways of entry into Children’s Homes varied depending on their age, gender, family circumstances, and the context of their admission. The following section outlines the pre-admission social and family circumstances of the 61 witnesses who gave evidence to the Committee, and was provided by them on the basis of what was known to them from their own family history and from official records.