2,143 entries for Witness Testimony

Witnesses gave accounts of a range of social circumstances prior to their admission, including being in the care of their parents or in out-of-home care. The average age of admission to the institutions was 14 years. Three (3) witnesses were admitted under 14 years of age. I was being abused by my step-father. When I approached my mother, she went to the priest and the nuns and it was decided that I was the one to be sent off.... I was put into the laundry, I was only 10. The people there were horrified, they would say “what are you doing here, sure you’re only a child?” The nun said “it’s best you don’t talk about this, your family will be disgraced”. I was to forget about it...(sexual abuse)... and it wasn’t to be discussed.... I came down with my case, it was tied with twine, and I was put into a laundry van. My mother said “why is she going in a laundry van? She is definitely going to get educated?” They told her I would get an education.

Nine (9) witnesses reported being placed in residential settings from their family home by or with the support and consent of their parents or other family members. Five (5) male witnesses stated that they entered Novitiates with their parents’ support in circumstances of financial hardship. They said that they learned about the opportunity of a religious life and receiving an education when members of particular religious Orders visited their primary schools to recruit boys to join their community. Four (4) female witnesses stated that they were placed in residential laundries or other work settings with the knowledge or support of parents or relatives in the context of poverty, death of a parent and personal or family crisis including familial abuse. Two (2) of these witnesses stated that they or their relatives were told, prior to admission, that they would receive an education that never materialised as they were involved from the outset in full-time work within the institution. Me Dad died and we were that poor me mam went off to England to get a living, you couldn’t get a living around there...(local area) I was with an aunt, we were at school but you had to buy everything and there wasn’t the money. I was working in the fields, trying to help out, that’s what I was mostly doing. A priest came by and he said I wasn’t doing good at school and he said he would find me a good place. He rang my mother up in England and she was delighted, you know, a convent ...crying... she was grateful. My mother agreed to it, she said the nuns were so holy, they done good in there, I would get a good education and be well looked after. • My mother and father would have wanted the best for me. I was happy as Larry, I’d be down the fields playing football. I’d have my lessons done because they said I was bright.... There was a lot expected of me.... The Brothers came around to the school, 4 of them came round, and sure when I seen the pitches,...(pictures of facilities in Novitiates)... the hurling and football I thought this was great. ... The only one in the school that was picked ... (selected to join Noviciate)... was myself. My mother and father were very poor, they sold a sow and a litter of bonbhs to kit me out.... I was reminded in the school that they were short of money and that really and truly I should be very grateful I was there. I was told that by Br ...X.... Going back that time to have someone... (in the family)... in the religious was a big thing. I was 13.

Five (5) male witnesses from one institution reported being severely beaten in an out-of-control manner. Two (2) witnesses described severe and unpredictable beatings all over the body. One witness reported being ‘thrashed with a leather’, and another reported that ‘they beat the lard out of me’. That night I got beaten up by the new staff... (lay staff member)... that came on.... He dragged me out of the bed and he started beating with this baton and he was kinda saying “you better not escape out of here” and he start whipping me across the legs, dragging me out of the bed, pulled me around the floor. He banged the side of me teeth off the bed and ... (I)... got a few wallops across the face. I got a right beating. He kept beating me, I don’t know what kind of anger got into him, I couldn’t understand the anger that came into him.... One of the lads roared “leave him alone”.... I told ...lay ancillary worker ... the next morning, she asked me “what’s wrong?” I had a cut lip, me teeth was chipped, my tooth was loose.

Seven (7) female witness reports related to continuous hard physical work in residential laundries, which was generally unpaid. Two (2) witnesses said that the regime was ‘like a prison’, that doors were locked all the time and exercise was taken in an enclosed yard. Working conditions were harsh and included standing for long hours, constantly washing laundry in cold water, and using heavy irons for many hours. One witness described working hard, standing in silence and being made to stand for meals and kneel to beg forgiveness if she spoke. Another witness stated that she was punched and hit as a threat not to disclose details of her everyday life working in the laundry to her family. Three (3) witnesses gave the following accounts of physical abuse: Every morning we were up at 5 o’clock in the summer and 6 o’clock in the winter. We slaved all day.... They starved and worked us to death while they lived in luxury. The nuns were all very hard and nasty, they used to shave our hair off ...distressed... we had to suffer in silence. I hope no one has to suffer like us. We had nowhere to run or no one would believe you.... I often burned myself...(while working, ironing) ... but got no sympathy ...distressed.... One time I had a terrible arm, it didn’t heal up, I had burned it and the dye of the uniform ran into it, and that was the first time I saw a doctor.... • You couldn’t laugh or talk in there ’cos you were just battered. A nice nun in the convent talked to us, Sr ...X... got to hear about it and she just battered us, on the back of the hands, anywhere, and if she got the curtain rail that would go across you. It didn’t matter what she had in her hand. She was like a Hitler ...crying.... My whole childhood was gone in that place. • We were beaten regular, I have got a mark still on my back. Mth ...X... was the evil cow, and then there was the helpers that would hold you down while she was battering you and they would cut lumps ... out of your hair.... I was 11 ... years old. I was battered with a big belt both by the nun and helpers....

Five (5) witnesses described isolated incidents of abuse that happened in an opportunistic fashion over short periods of time. Five (5) other witnesses gave accounts of being abused over a period of up to three years, including the following: We were living in a big dormitory, a kind of cubicle thing...he ... (named religious staff)... came down to me in the middle of the night and started talking to me, maybe once a week or twice a week ....He showed a bit of friendship to me, I remember getting ...(a gift) ... from him, I was delighted at the time.... I think I was going out of my mind, I couldn’t correlate religion and sex...

Four (4) other male witnesses described contact sexual abuse including forced masturbation by the abuser, fondling of genitalia, and digital penetration. Br ...X... he escorted me to the dressing room. He closed and bolted the door. He started by rubbing my knee first. He then started fondling my private parts. He then masturbated me and made me masturbate him. ... I felt so bad, ashamed.

Five (5) witnesses reported that food was inadequate and insufficient, three of whom described being constantly hungry or ‘starving’. You got bread and dripping. You could not eat it, but it was left there and after 3 days of no food you’d eat it.

Four (4) female witnesses reported that their education, social development and emotional well-being were neglected as they were constantly forced to work without pay for long hours, with limited time for education or recreation. The lack of safety, adequate food and a supportive educational environment was frequently commented by witnesses. The following witness accounts refer to areas of neglect already mentioned: They called it education, you learned Irish and religion, but none of us could pick it up. There you were, standing up by the wall and you’d get battered again. How could you learn? It was the house of horrors, everyone screaming at night, how can you learn? You were terrified, absolutely terrified. You were “a dope” and “a dunce” and ... (they said)... your mother was no good. ... Then you would go up to the convent and you would be washing their pots, scrubbing the floors. It was like manna there, ...(they had)... the best of everything, their food, ... and you would be starving. I got ...(ill).... I was locked in a room for 3 days. She ...(religious Sister)... would throw you food on the floor like you were a dog... • The first day I was shown the laundry and the next day I was put in it.... I did starching, I did priests’ cloaks, you know the long white things they wear? I did collars, you had to keep ironing them until they become real stiff. There was a little wooden thing you could stand on.... There was a little bit of relief that you got a night’s sleep ... but you knew it was wrong that I wasn’t going to school.

A witness reported that she was ridiculed and shamed for three days as a punishment for breaking crockery. Others described public ridicule for breaking the rule of silence. Another witness described having to make a public Confession each month in front of his peers as punishment for disrupting a class and a female witness gave the following account of her humiliation: Down in the laundry you slaved all day. Most of the day was strict silence.... ...Sr X... would sit on the throne and God help you if you broke your silence. She would report you to Mth ...Y... and you would have to stand when you went in for your food, your chair was taken away and you ate off the floor.... After 3 days you would have to kneel in front of Mth ...Y... and you would have to say these words, I will never forget them: “I beg almighty God’s pardon, Our Lady’s pardon. Pardon, my companions, pardon for the bad example I have shown”. I would then take a bow and ask her could I have my seat back.

Nine (9) witnesses were constantly fearful in anticipation of episodes of further abuse. Three (3) male witnesses from one institution commented that they were vigilant in an environment of threat that was unpredictable and disorganised, where they felt trapped and powerless. It was a big ... (building) ....There was one big room with nothing in it at the time, there was nothing for the lads.. The ...lay authority figure... wielded the baton, he would say “tell me who done it or yous are all getting it”.... It was bleak, no pictures, no TV, nothing. He got me with a bunch of keys and he paralyzed me ...distressed... he got me there ...(demonstrated being punched)... with the bunch of keys.... I later got lashed, he beat me all over... (on the)...legs, back.

The fear of being sent to a more severe environment as punishment was a constant threat for a number of witnesses who had previously been transferred and for others who were aware such transfers were possible. It was clear you were there for the rest of your life. The problem was there was a fear hanging over you because if you went to a Sister to ask for a job outside you could get sent to a worse place. There was a worse place ... that was known about...

Six (6) female witnesses who were placed in residential laundries reported that the loss of liberty, social isolation and the deprivation of identity had a traumatic impact on them. Friendships were discouraged or forbidden, communication was severely limited by the rule of silence and doors were constantly locked. Two (2) witnesses stated that restrictions on their liberty contributed to a feeling of being treated like a prisoner. They described their punishment for breaking the rule of silence as having their head shaved and being made to take meals separately from their peers. When I got there they... (religious staff)... took all your clothes off ...crying.... Cut all your hair off and bandaged you ... (breasts)... up so that you wouldn’t look like a girl, because your body was sin and belonged to the devil. • I was locked up in the...laundry, 6 years I was there. I was told I wasn’t capable of holding down a job. I was put in the middle of older and middle aged women, I cried for weeks and weeks on end, I was a nobody...I was 16.... I was locked away, working 6 days a week in the laundry and in the kitchen on Sunday.... I was never beaten there or name- called.... It was like a prison, the very same as a prison, I done nothing... (wrong)...

Two (2) female witnesses commented that when they were admitted to different institutions at 15 years of age they were ‘given’ a name and that their own name was no longer used. On the day of admission ... the nun said to me “from today on your name is ...X... (not own name)... don’t tell anyone where you came from or who you are”.

Eight (8) witnesses reported being deprived of contact with their families or relatives. Four (4) male witnesses stated that when they were in Novitiates they were not allowed contact with their own family members. The deprivation extended to a restriction on mail and the exclusion of their parents from any involvement in decisions regarding their health, welfare or education. A witness commented that he was ‘firmly dissuaded from an ongoing relationship with my parents’. Another male witness commented that it was forbidden to have pens and paper and another remarked that contact with parents was referred to as ‘scandalous’. Others described the restrictions placed on communication: Your letters were read... (by religious staff)... going out and coming in....One time I wrote a letter ...(saying) ... “I have a very bad headache today” ... I got the letter back...(and was told by religious staff)... “don’t be bothering your mother”.... It was fierce unhappiness, you couldn’t tell anyone...The pressure not to leave was fierce heavy... • Once a month you would be made write a letter. They would be standing over you, everyone wrote the same, you couldn’t tell ... (what was happening).... You were in there and under them and that was it, your family wasn’t let near you....

Nine (9) witnesses, three male and six female, reported that they disclosed the abuse both within and outside the institution. Three (3) female witnesses reported telling family members, others told co-residents. Two (2) female witnesses were punished by staff when they spoke about sexual and physical abuse. Another witness stated that she was believed and removed from the institution when she informed a family member of her abuse. A female witness reported that she was physically abused and threatened by a religious Sister in the presence of her mother as she attempted to talk about what happened to her: I said I will have to tell her ... (witness’s mother)... about me not getting educated, that’s when I got a few little thumps. She ... (religious Sister)... punched me into the stomach first, and stamped on my toes and said “don’t tell your mother you are not getting education, your night classes are starting soon”. I wanted to be able to read and write ... (Witness reported receiving no further education).... She says “if you say anything to your mother your life will be made unbearable”.... I was 10 ... (years old)....